About the Author

I was born in Mount Pleasant, Utah, shortly after the Paleozoic era.

Okay, I’m just kidding.

I was actually born on a small planet in the Andromeda galaxy called simply 1-1-1-4. Not a very imaginative name, but then, my people aren’t very imaginative in that way. And I suppose I ought to mention I wasn’t really ‘born’ at all. It was more of a ‘spawning,’ really. I sort of came into being due to an accidental mixture of a few highly experimental chemicals. Needless to say, after seeing the result of their concoction, the scientists working on the project quickly abandoned it.

My name is Zorg. It’s a perfectly normal name on 1-1-1-4, but soon after coming to 1-232-4734-3 (which the inhabitants refer to as Earth, an only slightly more imaginative name), I discovered that by some freak coincidence it was already in common use here, and usually as a ‘funny’ name for imaginary aliens. This disturbed me to some degree, but after being assimilated into Earth society I became known as Cory Poulson, so I didn’t get laughed at in school. Well, I did, but not for being named Zorg.

But I digress. If you really want to know more about me…

Oh, shoot. Some guys in white coats are knocking on the door. Be right back.

This is me before undergoing the surgical procedures that made me look like a human.